For one of my very best friend, as we share a special bond which is hard to define.
Hands half covered with Mehendi, face radiant with pre bridal gold facial and a huge smile. From Boy cut to shoulder cut, from jeans to sari and from tom boy to shy bride such is a change love brings to a woman as she progresses in her life. She has been one of the most intellectual gals I have ever known. We always used to talk about further studies, career and a bright future and strangely guys were never a part of any of our conversations. She has been a friend, a philosopher, a guide, has made me smile when I was dull and wished me success at every mile.
It was an exciting occasion for me to attend for two reasons, one to meet her after 2 years and second to see her sport a saree. Am sure she would have practiced wearing it around 20 times. When I landed in Mumbai, I was greeted by a happy Punjabi family full of fun and enjoyment. The evening was all set for “Geet Shangna de” and I had done my homework by revising some Punjabi marriage occasion songs. Mehfil was already in full mood when I joined the group singing songs. “Madhorama pencha vey”, “Charkha channan da”, “Main chali piya pekdey” were some of the number I could encourage everyone to sing along a with a song where I made a boy dance with a chunari based on theme, where bride tells her mom that she doesn’t want to go to her husbands house.
2 performances were a hit in the function, one by me where I put up a sale for each member of the family for “Dhai Aaane” and another was from her bua ji who had created a medly of old songs and matched them up with couples in their family. It had combination of songs where the elderly couples like Nana ji and Naniji actually performed a disco number. I was amazed to see how well a preparation was done for such a special occasion for her and this must be the kind of love she spreads in her family.
Night ended with a lot of chit chat with her relative aunties who told me stories of how they felt when they got married and catching a glimpse of the magnificent view of Mumbai, where sea was right in front of me, blushing with reflection of light.
I woke up at 5 AM as was hardly able to sleep and so was bride to be wide awake concerned about color of her Mehendi and all convincing her it would be right for the occasion. Everyone was hurried as the mahuarat for the havan was fixed for 7 AM when she was to wear chura which is worn for 40 days in Punjabi marriages. Being appointed as a “Sarabali”(bride mate) I was on my toes and had to be next to her at all times. We quickly got ready to reach the venue as it was in Mulund around 1.5 hours from bandra and soon hit the road cutting our way across the Bollywood city of India. Poster of upcoming movies, Amitabh, Shahrukh, aishwarya entertained us on the journey to a Marathi wedding.
The boy’s family greeted us with great affection and with a lot of rituals which I have seen for the first time. Clad in Marathi silk saree, my friend looked a beautiful doll while she walked towards the mandap. Her parents looked so happy when the couple exchanged rings and continued to perform the rituals, but her mum had a little tear in her eye. In the festivities and emotions my mind just circled back to the watch and it was already time for my flight. I wished the couple a happy married life and her family goodbye.
9th November 2010, will always be a special day in my life and every year when I wish her a happy anniversary, the memories of this occasion will make me smile!!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Break Ke Baad!!
I still remember the days around 20 years back, when weekend was marked as a festive time as VCR from Kalra Movie gallery along with four movies was to arrive in the evening. Movies were played one after another, songs forwarded and eyes glued to the TV sets whole night to watch the latest movies. Mum still used to frown as she was sent to kitchen to make some snacks & tea and she would keep an eye on the kettle while catching glimpse of the scene standing in the corridor.
From 4 PM to 10 PM BST, the same sequence was repeated as I watched three films in a row and the last one being break ke baad. From those times to this time, it actually was a Break ke baad for me.
After watching that movie, I couldn’t resist writing this blog as that movie was yet another movie which hit a cord with me after Dil chahta hai. A story written by Prasoon Joshi, a famous advertiser and story teller has brought forward the concept of a aggressive passionate girl who has dreams to become a movie star. She is an outgoing courageous woman who can leave behind everything to pursue her dream. People who loved her tried to come in her way in the sake of relationships as boyfriend, as mother but soon realized that her passion is everything for her.
It clearly showed when a person is following a passion, he/she can be blinded to other view points for those around them. Like her mother was an actress herself and she had gone through a lot of pain which she didn’t want her daughter to face, so wanted to protect her and even tried to be angry. She was right in her own sense and that emotion of hers made the gal realized that a passion is as good a goal as is her loved once support.
It had a similar impact on her boyfriend, who actually was her friend and was so used to her that he first tried to push himself on her. But with a break from her, he started following his own dream and made a mark in what he was good at with a support of some strangers, who became his friends. He soon realized what passion means to the person who is following it and he becomes more of a support than being annoyed.
Movie also highlighted role of friends in our lives and how friends love us for what we are but not for what should be. They can be away for a while, but they are always there for us when we need them.
Kudo’s to the independent, confident and fun loving girl’s character that Deepika has played in the movie. It also addresses a positive change which has come within women in India, who now dream and wish to fulfil them. Also, they can now propose to men with their knees bent rather than waiting for the man to take the first step.
I often wonder the creative thought which goes into finalizing these characters(Lillet Dubey, Naveen Nischol, Sharmila who had marvelous contributions to their role), their role, the outdoors, visualizing and actually making these movies. We as audience just pass our review comments on a Rs. 150 ticket which we sometimes feel have gone waste on a movie, but reality is many of such movies actually give us a new direction/a new thought on life.
Great work on “Break ke Baad” and my next blog after a long break. Enjoy the movie!!
From 4 PM to 10 PM BST, the same sequence was repeated as I watched three films in a row and the last one being break ke baad. From those times to this time, it actually was a Break ke baad for me.
After watching that movie, I couldn’t resist writing this blog as that movie was yet another movie which hit a cord with me after Dil chahta hai. A story written by Prasoon Joshi, a famous advertiser and story teller has brought forward the concept of a aggressive passionate girl who has dreams to become a movie star. She is an outgoing courageous woman who can leave behind everything to pursue her dream. People who loved her tried to come in her way in the sake of relationships as boyfriend, as mother but soon realized that her passion is everything for her.
It clearly showed when a person is following a passion, he/she can be blinded to other view points for those around them. Like her mother was an actress herself and she had gone through a lot of pain which she didn’t want her daughter to face, so wanted to protect her and even tried to be angry. She was right in her own sense and that emotion of hers made the gal realized that a passion is as good a goal as is her loved once support.
It had a similar impact on her boyfriend, who actually was her friend and was so used to her that he first tried to push himself on her. But with a break from her, he started following his own dream and made a mark in what he was good at with a support of some strangers, who became his friends. He soon realized what passion means to the person who is following it and he becomes more of a support than being annoyed.
Movie also highlighted role of friends in our lives and how friends love us for what we are but not for what should be. They can be away for a while, but they are always there for us when we need them.
Kudo’s to the independent, confident and fun loving girl’s character that Deepika has played in the movie. It also addresses a positive change which has come within women in India, who now dream and wish to fulfil them. Also, they can now propose to men with their knees bent rather than waiting for the man to take the first step.
I often wonder the creative thought which goes into finalizing these characters(Lillet Dubey, Naveen Nischol, Sharmila who had marvelous contributions to their role), their role, the outdoors, visualizing and actually making these movies. We as audience just pass our review comments on a Rs. 150 ticket which we sometimes feel have gone waste on a movie, but reality is many of such movies actually give us a new direction/a new thought on life.
Great work on “Break ke Baad” and my next blog after a long break. Enjoy the movie!!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Purani Jeans...!!
“Your name” has been tagged on a photo, was the message I received a few months back. I clicked on the link and it was a group photograph which was clicked around 16 years back, in the year 1994. It was a photograph of Class 12, Section C. I was amazed to see myself in the photo and my memories went back to the day this photograph was clicked, last day in school before our board exams.
The notification was from my class mate in school and comments on the photograph showed profile pictures of my classmates. Some had receded hair line, some were holding their babies, some had put on weight and a few looked just the same. A few more photographs were added within next few days and messages were all reflecting memories of those days. One of them had written, he first time drove a car on our farewell day and another one related to how slim he was then.
16 years seemed as it was just yesterday, when I was in school and our class teacher was taking attendance. I still remember our class had 9 Amit’s who were differentiated only by their surnames, one of those faces was a proud sports captain, another one was a classical dancer, yet another was a very good singer and all of them now are well settled professionals. I was happy to see 2 Amit’s out of those 9 were still in touch and met often.
When we had left school, we had put our signatures on each other’s shirts and taken vows of never forgetting each other and being in touch. But as life progressed, those names and faces got registered into memory and we soon fell apart. As we walked further in life, we made new friends, relationships and life went on. But those times still remained in memory and those instances became stories which we narrated to new friends and ties we made.
Am appreciative of community platforms like facebook, which has brought some of them back to me, and am happy to look at their pictures, their kids, read their progress in career. But some where I still miss some faces whose names are on my school shirt and my autograph book, but I have not met them since.
I often wonder, how will it feel when I will bump into them on road some day, will they talk to me or even recognize me.
I spent a day today, reflecting on those good times which I shared with them, the funny & stupid things we used to do and longing for a day, when those closed chapters of life will unfold and I will meet them again.
The notification was from my class mate in school and comments on the photograph showed profile pictures of my classmates. Some had receded hair line, some were holding their babies, some had put on weight and a few looked just the same. A few more photographs were added within next few days and messages were all reflecting memories of those days. One of them had written, he first time drove a car on our farewell day and another one related to how slim he was then.
16 years seemed as it was just yesterday, when I was in school and our class teacher was taking attendance. I still remember our class had 9 Amit’s who were differentiated only by their surnames, one of those faces was a proud sports captain, another one was a classical dancer, yet another was a very good singer and all of them now are well settled professionals. I was happy to see 2 Amit’s out of those 9 were still in touch and met often.
When we had left school, we had put our signatures on each other’s shirts and taken vows of never forgetting each other and being in touch. But as life progressed, those names and faces got registered into memory and we soon fell apart. As we walked further in life, we made new friends, relationships and life went on. But those times still remained in memory and those instances became stories which we narrated to new friends and ties we made.
Am appreciative of community platforms like facebook, which has brought some of them back to me, and am happy to look at their pictures, their kids, read their progress in career. But some where I still miss some faces whose names are on my school shirt and my autograph book, but I have not met them since.
I often wonder, how will it feel when I will bump into them on road some day, will they talk to me or even recognize me.
I spent a day today, reflecting on those good times which I shared with them, the funny & stupid things we used to do and longing for a day, when those closed chapters of life will unfold and I will meet them again.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Common Wealth Games …A New Religion@Delhi !!
Gasping for Breathe, face flushed with sweat and heart beat racing high, she bent towards the floor, to get back some strength then looked at the trek she has just finished running…in the midst of loud cheers she picked up India’s flag and waved at the audience.
Such was the view at CWG where Indian athletes made India proud. From Shuttlers to wrestlers, boxers to shooters, High jumpers to athletes every participating player has pushed themselves to the next level to make India end 2nd. Many won gold medal for India for the first time, many records were broken, new games learnt and new friendships made.
Delhi became the center of attention for the world with shadows of Media outrage, stories of corruption, cleanliness, snakes and monkey’s emerging in games village which were all dumped by a spectacular Opening ceremony, an extensive showcase of Incredible India. A night which showcased the immense talent in India raging from Shyam Bengal(the sutradhra), AR Rehman(CWG Anthem), Hariharan(Swagatam), impressive dancers with cross culture dance styles, drummers, sand artists and Yoga practitioners. World would always remember, the bangle shops, kullarh wali chai, the dabba wala, mithai wala with big jalebi’s and long forgotten sugarcane juice extractors.
Delhi prepared well to host our special guests with its world class Games village, widened & cleaned up roads and parks, rejuvenated CP, CWG lane with Rs 2000 fine, special coach for women in metro, hop in hop off buses, hoardings of Shera and last but not the least, world class stadiums which were all light up as if they were decorated for Diwali. Special folk dance performances, mushayar, crafts bazaar and trips to one of the 7 wonders of the world Taj Mahal.
Delhites poured at the stadiums in huge numbers to support the games, volunteers spent endless days working in shifts to support the efforts of athletes and guests. Doordarshan which had become mostly extinct by hoards of news and entertainment channels, once again emerged as the channel with highest TRP as every eye was glued to the games. We appreciated the High Definition transmission, professional commentary and relay of the award ceremonies. Special advertisement on railways (Rail Gaadi), games we used to play(ankh micholi, pithu, kabbadi), tourism ads on Gujarat, kerala etc which struck a chord with many became a big hit.
Many of us visited some of the games, painted our faces with flags especially for India vs Pakistan Hockey match and waved Indian flag at the games. Hooted slogans for Indian players, prayed on the last day for 2 Gold medals for India to finish 2nd. 38 gold and great performance of some our women athletes who have made a new mark in these games.
All played, worked and contributed together for a common purpose, Common Wealth games where SPORTS became the only religion of Delhi.
For those 11 days, every Delhite felt proud of participating in some way in the gala CWG event and all related to a beautiful song written by Palash Sen for Delhi….
Mera Ghar, Mera Pata, Meri Shaan…..Delhi hai Meri Jaan..!!
Such was the view at CWG where Indian athletes made India proud. From Shuttlers to wrestlers, boxers to shooters, High jumpers to athletes every participating player has pushed themselves to the next level to make India end 2nd. Many won gold medal for India for the first time, many records were broken, new games learnt and new friendships made.
Delhi became the center of attention for the world with shadows of Media outrage, stories of corruption, cleanliness, snakes and monkey’s emerging in games village which were all dumped by a spectacular Opening ceremony, an extensive showcase of Incredible India. A night which showcased the immense talent in India raging from Shyam Bengal(the sutradhra), AR Rehman(CWG Anthem), Hariharan(Swagatam), impressive dancers with cross culture dance styles, drummers, sand artists and Yoga practitioners. World would always remember, the bangle shops, kullarh wali chai, the dabba wala, mithai wala with big jalebi’s and long forgotten sugarcane juice extractors.
Delhi prepared well to host our special guests with its world class Games village, widened & cleaned up roads and parks, rejuvenated CP, CWG lane with Rs 2000 fine, special coach for women in metro, hop in hop off buses, hoardings of Shera and last but not the least, world class stadiums which were all light up as if they were decorated for Diwali. Special folk dance performances, mushayar, crafts bazaar and trips to one of the 7 wonders of the world Taj Mahal.
Delhites poured at the stadiums in huge numbers to support the games, volunteers spent endless days working in shifts to support the efforts of athletes and guests. Doordarshan which had become mostly extinct by hoards of news and entertainment channels, once again emerged as the channel with highest TRP as every eye was glued to the games. We appreciated the High Definition transmission, professional commentary and relay of the award ceremonies. Special advertisement on railways (Rail Gaadi), games we used to play(ankh micholi, pithu, kabbadi), tourism ads on Gujarat, kerala etc which struck a chord with many became a big hit.
Many of us visited some of the games, painted our faces with flags especially for India vs Pakistan Hockey match and waved Indian flag at the games. Hooted slogans for Indian players, prayed on the last day for 2 Gold medals for India to finish 2nd. 38 gold and great performance of some our women athletes who have made a new mark in these games.
All played, worked and contributed together for a common purpose, Common Wealth games where SPORTS became the only religion of Delhi.
For those 11 days, every Delhite felt proud of participating in some way in the gala CWG event and all related to a beautiful song written by Palash Sen for Delhi….
Mera Ghar, Mera Pata, Meri Shaan…..Delhi hai Meri Jaan..!!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Next Generation Mobile Love!!
Dedicated to all my friends in love and me on call waiting.
Technology has redefined many aspects of our life – From hand-washing to Washing machines, Dish washing to dishwashers, cooked to micro-waved food and a little device in our hand called Mobile from Pigeon mails & love letters.
I reflect back to a hit movie of our times (don’t think am very old), which had shown a white pigeon as a symbol of love where it did a free job of exchanging messages. It was also recognized as an indicator to the heroin that her hero is thinking about her. So was the irony of love a few years ago. We still had phone then, but the calling rates were quite high, so most of the people stuck to letters. I still remember the trend of pen friends, where two unknown people became friends by sending letters, which eventually made some meet the love of their life.
I often gather around my aunts to hear their stories of marriage and back to when they got engaged. Love was a forbidden word in their times and most of them had arranged marriages. (which actually has now become a forbidden word to many). One aunt told me, after their engagement uncle gave a call at her office and her boss called her to attend the phone. Yes they just had a phone next to her boss’s seat. (Love to imagine you attending a phone in your Reporting manager’s cabin ). Her face got pale with panic and her hands trembled while saying the first hello. Her boss was thoroughly concerned and doubting that everything was fine and even checked with a colleague who told her she is engaged and then Boss had a sigh of relief!!. Such was the beauty of love and relationships in those times, where people longed to talk, wrote letters to express their feelings and waited for ages to meet.
Zooming back from those days to these, pen friends have been replaced with cryptic key board friends who use the QWERTY/NON QWERTY key boards to quickly type the lovey dovey messages or forward messages. Postal departments around the world have moved away their business model from selling stamps and handling letters to Saving Schemes. And bosses don’t dare to peak into a phone which is received even while in a meeting.
Love of your life is always online through SMS, emails and messengers in phone. Love birds have ample time to discuss what they have eaten, what they are wearing and what they felt when a colleague mocked at her hair today. While 24x7 news channels still stick to the top stories, our love birds discuss the minutest details of every minute which they have spent without them. Mobile has become as precious a commodity as food to survive. I have seen people who don’t panic if their wallets are snatched but are more concerned if their phone is left at home.
For many the definition of love goes wrong if he/she didn’t pick up the call when he/she was busy with work. For some, love is more about a status check on their partners to make sure he/she is not with some one else. Facebook/orkut profiles of partners are actively monitored for new messages/scraps and status updates.
Love earlier was a thing to preserve which now seems to become a necessity to maintain a comparative mobile bill between friends and compare “Mera BF tere BF se smart kaise”. People earlier used to discover each other when they started living together, unfolding the secrets of other persons nature one at a time, always amazed with his/her reaction on a romantic journey together, his/her reaction when either got hurt etc. But today, even in arranged marriages, I see people talking from the minute they get engaged to the marriage day. Expectations are already set about each other and they know so much about each other already, that nothing much is there to explore further(especially for long dating couples).
I often wonder, has this constant communication lead to a increasing rate of divorces in the world, the number of breakups in early relationships, the number of heart breaks, suicides and of course emergence of new mobile service providers.
Is love more about calling many times a day to check what we are doing/feeling or is love still a feeling which makes you smile when you think of that someone special!!
Technology has redefined many aspects of our life – From hand-washing to Washing machines, Dish washing to dishwashers, cooked to micro-waved food and a little device in our hand called Mobile from Pigeon mails & love letters.
I reflect back to a hit movie of our times (don’t think am very old), which had shown a white pigeon as a symbol of love where it did a free job of exchanging messages. It was also recognized as an indicator to the heroin that her hero is thinking about her. So was the irony of love a few years ago. We still had phone then, but the calling rates were quite high, so most of the people stuck to letters. I still remember the trend of pen friends, where two unknown people became friends by sending letters, which eventually made some meet the love of their life.
I often gather around my aunts to hear their stories of marriage and back to when they got engaged. Love was a forbidden word in their times and most of them had arranged marriages. (which actually has now become a forbidden word to many). One aunt told me, after their engagement uncle gave a call at her office and her boss called her to attend the phone. Yes they just had a phone next to her boss’s seat. (Love to imagine you attending a phone in your Reporting manager’s cabin ). Her face got pale with panic and her hands trembled while saying the first hello. Her boss was thoroughly concerned and doubting that everything was fine and even checked with a colleague who told her she is engaged and then Boss had a sigh of relief!!. Such was the beauty of love and relationships in those times, where people longed to talk, wrote letters to express their feelings and waited for ages to meet.
Zooming back from those days to these, pen friends have been replaced with cryptic key board friends who use the QWERTY/NON QWERTY key boards to quickly type the lovey dovey messages or forward messages. Postal departments around the world have moved away their business model from selling stamps and handling letters to Saving Schemes. And bosses don’t dare to peak into a phone which is received even while in a meeting.
Love of your life is always online through SMS, emails and messengers in phone. Love birds have ample time to discuss what they have eaten, what they are wearing and what they felt when a colleague mocked at her hair today. While 24x7 news channels still stick to the top stories, our love birds discuss the minutest details of every minute which they have spent without them. Mobile has become as precious a commodity as food to survive. I have seen people who don’t panic if their wallets are snatched but are more concerned if their phone is left at home.
For many the definition of love goes wrong if he/she didn’t pick up the call when he/she was busy with work. For some, love is more about a status check on their partners to make sure he/she is not with some one else. Facebook/orkut profiles of partners are actively monitored for new messages/scraps and status updates.
Love earlier was a thing to preserve which now seems to become a necessity to maintain a comparative mobile bill between friends and compare “Mera BF tere BF se smart kaise”. People earlier used to discover each other when they started living together, unfolding the secrets of other persons nature one at a time, always amazed with his/her reaction on a romantic journey together, his/her reaction when either got hurt etc. But today, even in arranged marriages, I see people talking from the minute they get engaged to the marriage day. Expectations are already set about each other and they know so much about each other already, that nothing much is there to explore further(especially for long dating couples).
I often wonder, has this constant communication lead to a increasing rate of divorces in the world, the number of breakups in early relationships, the number of heart breaks, suicides and of course emergence of new mobile service providers.
Is love more about calling many times a day to check what we are doing/feeling or is love still a feeling which makes you smile when you think of that someone special!!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Abodana Dhudhtey Hain!!
Driving down on NH24, a four lane highway connecting Delhi to Ghaziabad now, I could only view hoardings on either side of road displaying advertisements of upcoming construction of homes in Ghaziabad and Noida area.
An area which was prohibited to stay for quite some years, has become quite a hot property today. Tall sky scrapers coming closer reminded me of the downtown view of Chicago(minus the cows and CNG autos), which I admired on my first visit to US. I was amazed to drive on the smooth highway and thinking how easy it is to commute to such far flung place now.
Every building, every home seemed to be occupied with smiling faces peeping from the balconies enjoying the beautiful weather. A dream bubble emerged in my head, with a scenario where am decorating my room with my most adored collection of art, arranging my cupboard and my favorite ghazal playing in background "Tere aane ki jab khabar mehke, teri khushbu se sara ghar mehke".
Woosh..just missed hitting an auto..Remember I was driving.
A home registered in my name, with my savings has been a yearning dream in my heart since I saw my parent's smiles when they bought our home around 20 years back. A home, for which I keep noting ideas of decoration, of furniture arrangements, latest wall paint options, those little things which I will buy, even the jingle of door bell and yes a name plate inscribed "Supi's World" on it.
After stabilizing in my career a few years ago(with some sufficient funds), I started my search for my dream home. From Rohini, Sarita vihar, Indrapuram, Faridabad and now Noida my search has been endless. I had very interesting experiences for each locality which I sometimes look back and smile at.
Sarita Vihar: I was led by my uncle, into a meeting with a property dealer, who gave an amazed look, when he was told that "I" was the one who was looking for a house. He couldn't believe it to be true and even said kids grow up very early now a days :-). (Some praise, I was very young then!!)
Rohini: I went to meet a property dealer on a rickshaw not realizing that he felt am a broke and if I cannot afford a car, how I will be able to buy a home.
Indrapuram: From apartments at 14th floor to builder floors, the options have been endless. Buildings in construction reflected upon me the famous song "Do diwane shere mein, raat mein or dopahar mein.." where the hero/heroin walk around buildings under development. Relatively, I also had a friend then with me, whom I had pushed to look for a house. Paid around 10 visits, selected a house and finally the deal didn’t materialize just for a lac of rupees. But positive side, was my friend bought a house which his parents really wanted him to buy. I visited them today, I could see signs of joy & relief on his parent’s faces and yes the name plate on the door “in his name”.
Faridabad: An under construction area(rather than buildings) marked a major challenge there, where my first visit changed the color of my car from Azure Grey to light brown with all the dust. No roads, no lights but a future ahead being sold with a view of metro and upcoming FNG highway. It was convincing enough to buy and I did try it out, but unfortunately led to a loss as stupid company faltered. Arrrgh!!
Noida: From sky scrappers touching 35 stories to studios, from triplex homes to penthouse, the prices of all opportunities are shooting high up every day. But still am trying my options (fingers crossed) with a depressing fear on history repeating itself and my mind filled with doubts on the future of homes here.
There is a saying "The more you run after something, the farther it runs from you" seems to be true as my search continues. Rates souring higher with lesser availability are some where shattering my hopes of my dream home. Supply and demand curves which I loved in graduation are coming true in my life and I am still waiting to reach equilibrium.
My logical mind often wonders, what it takes to be get a right choice at a right time but then my spiritual mind knocks and suggests, “it will happen when its supposed to happen”, but till then..
......Abodana Dhundhtey Hain, Ashiana dundhtey hain!!!
An area which was prohibited to stay for quite some years, has become quite a hot property today. Tall sky scrapers coming closer reminded me of the downtown view of Chicago(minus the cows and CNG autos), which I admired on my first visit to US. I was amazed to drive on the smooth highway and thinking how easy it is to commute to such far flung place now.
Every building, every home seemed to be occupied with smiling faces peeping from the balconies enjoying the beautiful weather. A dream bubble emerged in my head, with a scenario where am decorating my room with my most adored collection of art, arranging my cupboard and my favorite ghazal playing in background "Tere aane ki jab khabar mehke, teri khushbu se sara ghar mehke".
Woosh..just missed hitting an auto..Remember I was driving.
A home registered in my name, with my savings has been a yearning dream in my heart since I saw my parent's smiles when they bought our home around 20 years back. A home, for which I keep noting ideas of decoration, of furniture arrangements, latest wall paint options, those little things which I will buy, even the jingle of door bell and yes a name plate inscribed "Supi's World" on it.
After stabilizing in my career a few years ago(with some sufficient funds), I started my search for my dream home. From Rohini, Sarita vihar, Indrapuram, Faridabad and now Noida my search has been endless. I had very interesting experiences for each locality which I sometimes look back and smile at.
Sarita Vihar: I was led by my uncle, into a meeting with a property dealer, who gave an amazed look, when he was told that "I" was the one who was looking for a house. He couldn't believe it to be true and even said kids grow up very early now a days :-). (Some praise, I was very young then!!)
Rohini: I went to meet a property dealer on a rickshaw not realizing that he felt am a broke and if I cannot afford a car, how I will be able to buy a home.
Indrapuram: From apartments at 14th floor to builder floors, the options have been endless. Buildings in construction reflected upon me the famous song "Do diwane shere mein, raat mein or dopahar mein.." where the hero/heroin walk around buildings under development. Relatively, I also had a friend then with me, whom I had pushed to look for a house. Paid around 10 visits, selected a house and finally the deal didn’t materialize just for a lac of rupees. But positive side, was my friend bought a house which his parents really wanted him to buy. I visited them today, I could see signs of joy & relief on his parent’s faces and yes the name plate on the door “in his name”.
Faridabad: An under construction area(rather than buildings) marked a major challenge there, where my first visit changed the color of my car from Azure Grey to light brown with all the dust. No roads, no lights but a future ahead being sold with a view of metro and upcoming FNG highway. It was convincing enough to buy and I did try it out, but unfortunately led to a loss as stupid company faltered. Arrrgh!!
Noida: From sky scrappers touching 35 stories to studios, from triplex homes to penthouse, the prices of all opportunities are shooting high up every day. But still am trying my options (fingers crossed) with a depressing fear on history repeating itself and my mind filled with doubts on the future of homes here.
There is a saying "The more you run after something, the farther it runs from you" seems to be true as my search continues. Rates souring higher with lesser availability are some where shattering my hopes of my dream home. Supply and demand curves which I loved in graduation are coming true in my life and I am still waiting to reach equilibrium.
My logical mind often wonders, what it takes to be get a right choice at a right time but then my spiritual mind knocks and suggests, “it will happen when its supposed to happen”, but till then..
......Abodana Dhundhtey Hain, Ashiana dundhtey hain!!!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Loneliness defined!!
In the midst of cries and mourning, I looked at the face of my mother and I still recall the blankness. It was 13th March 1994, a darkest day of my life. A couple whom I have seen full of love, commitment and sacrifice in the hardest of times was ripped apart by a mighty decision of God.
Chirping in the corners, jokes by the dinner side and smiles on the faces had all died and was filled with empty spaces and silent walls. We realized the value of togetherness when we looked at families around us smile, their laughter and smiles reminded us of the old times.
That is how our loneliness was defined!!
I realized loneliness as a feeling which makes us run towards relationships. We wish to be around friends to pass our weekends, we indulge in habits to kill away our time and our parents wish us to get married so that we are not left alone in life.
I often wonder why “loneliness” is such a taboo when we were all born as individuals and didn’t bring anyone along. We do become a part of some family but we never take them along when we die. What we take along is our own good/bad deeds which we have done in our lifetime.
When I see around, I see relationships break because one of them feels left alone, I have seen friendships break when people don’t give each other time and I have seen people break when they are left alone by circumstances. The fear of loneliness has unlimited consequences and has lead people to succumb to habits like drugs, addictions, bad habits and many a times suicides. But what remains after them for their families is yet the same thing, loneliness.
In the world of breakups, divorces, neglects and broken relationships caused due to loneliness do we realize the value of togetherness, the bond which god has created especially for us to make sure we are not left alone in this world. Our parents, our friends and our partners are the ones, which god has especially sent for us when he himself couldn’t give much of his attention to all.
On the contrary we often seek loneliness when we are pressurized for time. “Please leave me alone” is a sentence often spoken when we want to concentrate or are going through a sad state. Why do we need time with ourselves then, because we are individuals and we do have our own space which we often don’t cherish.
I have realized over the years that loneliness is a boon in itself and we have so many options to make the most of it. Some options are:
• Nurture our habits, past dreams and learn things which are creative.
• Help others who have been left alone by fate
• Submerge ourselves in the sake of god who has given us this beautiful life
• Spend time with children, who are a gift of god to us to relive our childhood
We never know, if our breath will flow the next second in time. So unpredictable is life and I feel we should make the most of this life and try our best to leave only smiles behind.
Har Pal yahan jee bhar jiyo, kal yeh saman fir ho na ho!!
This blog is dedicated to my mother, my pillar of strength.
Chirping in the corners, jokes by the dinner side and smiles on the faces had all died and was filled with empty spaces and silent walls. We realized the value of togetherness when we looked at families around us smile, their laughter and smiles reminded us of the old times.
That is how our loneliness was defined!!
I realized loneliness as a feeling which makes us run towards relationships. We wish to be around friends to pass our weekends, we indulge in habits to kill away our time and our parents wish us to get married so that we are not left alone in life.
I often wonder why “loneliness” is such a taboo when we were all born as individuals and didn’t bring anyone along. We do become a part of some family but we never take them along when we die. What we take along is our own good/bad deeds which we have done in our lifetime.
When I see around, I see relationships break because one of them feels left alone, I have seen friendships break when people don’t give each other time and I have seen people break when they are left alone by circumstances. The fear of loneliness has unlimited consequences and has lead people to succumb to habits like drugs, addictions, bad habits and many a times suicides. But what remains after them for their families is yet the same thing, loneliness.
In the world of breakups, divorces, neglects and broken relationships caused due to loneliness do we realize the value of togetherness, the bond which god has created especially for us to make sure we are not left alone in this world. Our parents, our friends and our partners are the ones, which god has especially sent for us when he himself couldn’t give much of his attention to all.
On the contrary we often seek loneliness when we are pressurized for time. “Please leave me alone” is a sentence often spoken when we want to concentrate or are going through a sad state. Why do we need time with ourselves then, because we are individuals and we do have our own space which we often don’t cherish.
I have realized over the years that loneliness is a boon in itself and we have so many options to make the most of it. Some options are:
• Nurture our habits, past dreams and learn things which are creative.
• Help others who have been left alone by fate
• Submerge ourselves in the sake of god who has given us this beautiful life
• Spend time with children, who are a gift of god to us to relive our childhood
We never know, if our breath will flow the next second in time. So unpredictable is life and I feel we should make the most of this life and try our best to leave only smiles behind.
Har Pal yahan jee bhar jiyo, kal yeh saman fir ho na ho!!
This blog is dedicated to my mother, my pillar of strength.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Meeting Her - A little Angel !!
Alarm went off at 4.30 AM, while I was already awake looking out of the window of my room at Holiday Inn Maidenhead, where am stationed since last one week. Was it eagerness to see her or the chirping of the birds which woke me up, I was not sure. I had to board a train in an hour’s time to Birmingham to meet her, my little niece Arlene.
On my last visit a few months back, she was too young to lay her eyes on me, but her recent pictures had made me feel that she might recognize me this time. Having devoted myself in work for quite a few years, I had merely forgot the emotional touch of meeting someone as close in the family.
I started to walk towards the station with a heavy bag, thanks to the official dell laptop, but no pain was felt on the shoulder, as her recent pictures floated in front of my eyes, as if she was waiting for me to arrive. Of the few things I adore about UK is the punctuality and timeliness which is followed in every aspect including travel, but unfortunately today my scheduled train was cancelled and I was standing at Reading station waiting for the next train arriving in about 30 minutes. A delay, which was sad, but I couldn’t defy.
My brother received me at the station and here I was looking at her, she greeted me with a bright and fresh smile. She held my finger as I moved my hand towards her’s and she started gurgling in her musical voice. I felt as if she was telling me all the little stories of days she spent here and telling me how much she wished we could meet. I felt she asked me about everyone back in India including her Dadi and confirmed that she would come to meet all of us soon.
When she was born, my neighborhood aunt had said that she has the same surname as mine and thus she would be more dearest to me than to my mother and yes today I could feel the love and affection for her, which was lost long back within me somewhere unknown. I sat around her most of the time, she often interacted with me with her eyes and gurgling a complaint that I didn’t bring her any gift. I went to high street to quickly pick up a few dresses for her and she wore them with a radiant awe in her eyes. She often held the frock as to show to my brother and bhabhi that I have brought it for her. How kiddish I felt, but it brought a peculiar feeling of happiness of the little gift I had bought for her.
Such innocence is what children bring to our harsh lives. They themselves bring out the feelings of love, tenderness and affection for them and we become just like them for sometime.
I often wonder how strange is our existence and life? How we are born in the womb of our mother as a seed, grow up in the hands of strange people who become our family and are submerged in earth or water after we die and leave only memories for others who survive. The soul remains alive and it becomes a part of some other family and lives on the next life.
2 eventful days passed around her, where I heard her voice, saw her smile, captured her in pictures and looked awfully when she cried and here I was standing next to her with a heavy heart to say bye. She again held my finger as if she disapproved of my release from her love and attention. But somehow I managed to steal myself from her eyes which were still looking for me when I left the house.
Back in train, while listening to songs on mobile, her recorded voice just somehow came in the play list and I could do nothing but just smile!!
I too will miss you Little Ms Dhingra and would be eager to meet you again, but we both have to wait for a while!!
Written at 2 AM on 11th May 2010, I owe this blog to her and I couldn’t sleep without completing it tonight.
On my last visit a few months back, she was too young to lay her eyes on me, but her recent pictures had made me feel that she might recognize me this time. Having devoted myself in work for quite a few years, I had merely forgot the emotional touch of meeting someone as close in the family.
I started to walk towards the station with a heavy bag, thanks to the official dell laptop, but no pain was felt on the shoulder, as her recent pictures floated in front of my eyes, as if she was waiting for me to arrive. Of the few things I adore about UK is the punctuality and timeliness which is followed in every aspect including travel, but unfortunately today my scheduled train was cancelled and I was standing at Reading station waiting for the next train arriving in about 30 minutes. A delay, which was sad, but I couldn’t defy.
My brother received me at the station and here I was looking at her, she greeted me with a bright and fresh smile. She held my finger as I moved my hand towards her’s and she started gurgling in her musical voice. I felt as if she was telling me all the little stories of days she spent here and telling me how much she wished we could meet. I felt she asked me about everyone back in India including her Dadi and confirmed that she would come to meet all of us soon.
When she was born, my neighborhood aunt had said that she has the same surname as mine and thus she would be more dearest to me than to my mother and yes today I could feel the love and affection for her, which was lost long back within me somewhere unknown. I sat around her most of the time, she often interacted with me with her eyes and gurgling a complaint that I didn’t bring her any gift. I went to high street to quickly pick up a few dresses for her and she wore them with a radiant awe in her eyes. She often held the frock as to show to my brother and bhabhi that I have brought it for her. How kiddish I felt, but it brought a peculiar feeling of happiness of the little gift I had bought for her.
Such innocence is what children bring to our harsh lives. They themselves bring out the feelings of love, tenderness and affection for them and we become just like them for sometime.
I often wonder how strange is our existence and life? How we are born in the womb of our mother as a seed, grow up in the hands of strange people who become our family and are submerged in earth or water after we die and leave only memories for others who survive. The soul remains alive and it becomes a part of some other family and lives on the next life.
2 eventful days passed around her, where I heard her voice, saw her smile, captured her in pictures and looked awfully when she cried and here I was standing next to her with a heavy heart to say bye. She again held my finger as if she disapproved of my release from her love and attention. But somehow I managed to steal myself from her eyes which were still looking for me when I left the house.
Back in train, while listening to songs on mobile, her recorded voice just somehow came in the play list and I could do nothing but just smile!!
I too will miss you Little Ms Dhingra and would be eager to meet you again, but we both have to wait for a while!!
Written at 2 AM on 11th May 2010, I owe this blog to her and I couldn’t sleep without completing it tonight.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Aur Karvan banta gaya!!
To the endless fun which the new members have brought for us @ Route 2M.
Refering back to the GSP syndrom which has come back in the bus, after the great days of fun, I see the smiles have come back again. Earlier blog for reference :-)
http://wordless-soul.blogspot.com/2009/09/route-no2m-dumb-bond.html
It is so true of life that we live everyday and each day is like a page in a book which gets registered in our memory. We cannot live back old moments of fun and happiness but life has something new at every step for us.
Old episodes of fun and laughter were registered in my mind, when I again started sitting silent in bus. A friend is recently married and adjusting to a new life, a friend has moved on from the organisation and another friend has left the bus.
But there are a few of us left, who were a part of the gang, but feel the lull after those who were "heart of mehfil".
With increased responsibilities, lot of meetings, travel and work, I lost the touch with the gang. Today, I didnt have a meeting so just asked the gang to start again, our favorite game dumb Charades.
Invariably, the game picked up its momentum and the new joinee's in the bus joined the flow. The younger & the faster generation than us, were amazed to see the art in us, the oldies like me and I was fasinated by their enthusisam. They have brought a new angle and twist to game, with their wild imagination. But they do have less patience in enacting a movie, which becomes hard on them.
Some new exceptional skills which am proud to name:
Bad man ki lalten: He has the worst acts and always on the negative side.
innocent confusion: Thrououghly confused on the approach to express
Karo Ya Maro: Always follows do or die attitude.
While we smile together, laugh at the nuisances, share the good times together, I realise the truth of life. We come alone in this world and then are joined by people at every step in life who play a great part in our lives and these two lines summarise the thoughts within me today...
"Main akela hi chala tha janibe manzil, magar log sath aate gaye aur karvan banta gaya"
Refering back to the GSP syndrom which has come back in the bus, after the great days of fun, I see the smiles have come back again. Earlier blog for reference :-)
http://wordless-soul.blogspot.com/2009/09/route-no2m-dumb-bond.html
It is so true of life that we live everyday and each day is like a page in a book which gets registered in our memory. We cannot live back old moments of fun and happiness but life has something new at every step for us.
Old episodes of fun and laughter were registered in my mind, when I again started sitting silent in bus. A friend is recently married and adjusting to a new life, a friend has moved on from the organisation and another friend has left the bus.
But there are a few of us left, who were a part of the gang, but feel the lull after those who were "heart of mehfil".
With increased responsibilities, lot of meetings, travel and work, I lost the touch with the gang. Today, I didnt have a meeting so just asked the gang to start again, our favorite game dumb Charades.
Invariably, the game picked up its momentum and the new joinee's in the bus joined the flow. The younger & the faster generation than us, were amazed to see the art in us, the oldies like me and I was fasinated by their enthusisam. They have brought a new angle and twist to game, with their wild imagination. But they do have less patience in enacting a movie, which becomes hard on them.
Some new exceptional skills which am proud to name:
Bad man ki lalten: He has the worst acts and always on the negative side.
innocent confusion: Thrououghly confused on the approach to express
Karo Ya Maro: Always follows do or die attitude.
While we smile together, laugh at the nuisances, share the good times together, I realise the truth of life. We come alone in this world and then are joined by people at every step in life who play a great part in our lives and these two lines summarise the thoughts within me today...
"Main akela hi chala tha janibe manzil, magar log sath aate gaye aur karvan banta gaya"
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Emptiness Within!!
Holiday Inn London, at 2100 hours
Standing near the window, staring for long hours on the view outside, hearing my heart beat closer to me and the emptiness within!!
A sinking feeling embeded in me in an alien land, where I didnt have my family & friends, people who are a vital part of every minute of my life. Place is known, the rules are known but you still feel alienated from all as they are not my known.
Clock shows 3 AM in India, no one is online and strangely I have not spoken a word for past 36 hours. The silence haunts and memories of the last few hours in India, circle around me.
I try to sleep, but jet lag keeps me awake. I stare in the dark and start thinking about my life.
Am so used to some people in my life with whom I spend major part of my day. I have friends, who acompany me everyday while travelling, who acompany me at lunch, with whom I share my feelings, joys and happiness . They sit next to me and we chit chat on topics, office gossips, passions in life and everyday learn something new about each other. Why am I so dependent on people around me, or is it just a way to avoid the emptiness within?
I often think, why do I work so hard, not considering any hour of the day. People call me workaholic, dedidated to the organisation and even ask me if I get paid extra of every hour. My answer is a smile, but somewhere I feel, do I keep myself busy to avoid the voice of silence and the emptiness within?
I often dream of my childhood when I was loved by all, moments of happiness where I felt I can acheive it all, the pain of lost relationships which were not meant to be mine and the darkness of future which I cannot comprehend now. At times I feel fulfilled, at times lonely, but some where deep down in heart I have started feeling - the emptiness within.
The silence of the room and the darkness of night, makes me wonder what would be my life, a few years from now? With emptiness within and no one around.
A tear drops from my eye, but I sleep as of now!!!
Standing near the window, staring for long hours on the view outside, hearing my heart beat closer to me and the emptiness within!!
A sinking feeling embeded in me in an alien land, where I didnt have my family & friends, people who are a vital part of every minute of my life. Place is known, the rules are known but you still feel alienated from all as they are not my known.
Clock shows 3 AM in India, no one is online and strangely I have not spoken a word for past 36 hours. The silence haunts and memories of the last few hours in India, circle around me.
I try to sleep, but jet lag keeps me awake. I stare in the dark and start thinking about my life.
Am so used to some people in my life with whom I spend major part of my day. I have friends, who acompany me everyday while travelling, who acompany me at lunch, with whom I share my feelings, joys and happiness . They sit next to me and we chit chat on topics, office gossips, passions in life and everyday learn something new about each other. Why am I so dependent on people around me, or is it just a way to avoid the emptiness within?
I often think, why do I work so hard, not considering any hour of the day. People call me workaholic, dedidated to the organisation and even ask me if I get paid extra of every hour. My answer is a smile, but somewhere I feel, do I keep myself busy to avoid the voice of silence and the emptiness within?
I often dream of my childhood when I was loved by all, moments of happiness where I felt I can acheive it all, the pain of lost relationships which were not meant to be mine and the darkness of future which I cannot comprehend now. At times I feel fulfilled, at times lonely, but some where deep down in heart I have started feeling - the emptiness within.
The silence of the room and the darkness of night, makes me wonder what would be my life, a few years from now? With emptiness within and no one around.
A tear drops from my eye, but I sleep as of now!!!
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