“Your name” has been tagged on a photo, was the message I received a few months back. I clicked on the link and it was a group photograph which was clicked around 16 years back, in the year 1994. It was a photograph of Class 12, Section C. I was amazed to see myself in the photo and my memories went back to the day this photograph was clicked, last day in school before our board exams.
The notification was from my class mate in school and comments on the photograph showed profile pictures of my classmates. Some had receded hair line, some were holding their babies, some had put on weight and a few looked just the same. A few more photographs were added within next few days and messages were all reflecting memories of those days. One of them had written, he first time drove a car on our farewell day and another one related to how slim he was then.
16 years seemed as it was just yesterday, when I was in school and our class teacher was taking attendance. I still remember our class had 9 Amit’s who were differentiated only by their surnames, one of those faces was a proud sports captain, another one was a classical dancer, yet another was a very good singer and all of them now are well settled professionals. I was happy to see 2 Amit’s out of those 9 were still in touch and met often.
When we had left school, we had put our signatures on each other’s shirts and taken vows of never forgetting each other and being in touch. But as life progressed, those names and faces got registered into memory and we soon fell apart. As we walked further in life, we made new friends, relationships and life went on. But those times still remained in memory and those instances became stories which we narrated to new friends and ties we made.
Am appreciative of community platforms like facebook, which has brought some of them back to me, and am happy to look at their pictures, their kids, read their progress in career. But some where I still miss some faces whose names are on my school shirt and my autograph book, but I have not met them since.
I often wonder, how will it feel when I will bump into them on road some day, will they talk to me or even recognize me.
I spent a day today, reflecting on those good times which I shared with them, the funny & stupid things we used to do and longing for a day, when those closed chapters of life will unfold and I will meet them again.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Common Wealth Games …A New Religion@Delhi !!
Gasping for Breathe, face flushed with sweat and heart beat racing high, she bent towards the floor, to get back some strength then looked at the trek she has just finished running…in the midst of loud cheers she picked up India’s flag and waved at the audience.
Such was the view at CWG where Indian athletes made India proud. From Shuttlers to wrestlers, boxers to shooters, High jumpers to athletes every participating player has pushed themselves to the next level to make India end 2nd. Many won gold medal for India for the first time, many records were broken, new games learnt and new friendships made.
Delhi became the center of attention for the world with shadows of Media outrage, stories of corruption, cleanliness, snakes and monkey’s emerging in games village which were all dumped by a spectacular Opening ceremony, an extensive showcase of Incredible India. A night which showcased the immense talent in India raging from Shyam Bengal(the sutradhra), AR Rehman(CWG Anthem), Hariharan(Swagatam), impressive dancers with cross culture dance styles, drummers, sand artists and Yoga practitioners. World would always remember, the bangle shops, kullarh wali chai, the dabba wala, mithai wala with big jalebi’s and long forgotten sugarcane juice extractors.
Delhi prepared well to host our special guests with its world class Games village, widened & cleaned up roads and parks, rejuvenated CP, CWG lane with Rs 2000 fine, special coach for women in metro, hop in hop off buses, hoardings of Shera and last but not the least, world class stadiums which were all light up as if they were decorated for Diwali. Special folk dance performances, mushayar, crafts bazaar and trips to one of the 7 wonders of the world Taj Mahal.
Delhites poured at the stadiums in huge numbers to support the games, volunteers spent endless days working in shifts to support the efforts of athletes and guests. Doordarshan which had become mostly extinct by hoards of news and entertainment channels, once again emerged as the channel with highest TRP as every eye was glued to the games. We appreciated the High Definition transmission, professional commentary and relay of the award ceremonies. Special advertisement on railways (Rail Gaadi), games we used to play(ankh micholi, pithu, kabbadi), tourism ads on Gujarat, kerala etc which struck a chord with many became a big hit.
Many of us visited some of the games, painted our faces with flags especially for India vs Pakistan Hockey match and waved Indian flag at the games. Hooted slogans for Indian players, prayed on the last day for 2 Gold medals for India to finish 2nd. 38 gold and great performance of some our women athletes who have made a new mark in these games.
All played, worked and contributed together for a common purpose, Common Wealth games where SPORTS became the only religion of Delhi.
For those 11 days, every Delhite felt proud of participating in some way in the gala CWG event and all related to a beautiful song written by Palash Sen for Delhi….
Mera Ghar, Mera Pata, Meri Shaan…..Delhi hai Meri Jaan..!!
Such was the view at CWG where Indian athletes made India proud. From Shuttlers to wrestlers, boxers to shooters, High jumpers to athletes every participating player has pushed themselves to the next level to make India end 2nd. Many won gold medal for India for the first time, many records were broken, new games learnt and new friendships made.
Delhi became the center of attention for the world with shadows of Media outrage, stories of corruption, cleanliness, snakes and monkey’s emerging in games village which were all dumped by a spectacular Opening ceremony, an extensive showcase of Incredible India. A night which showcased the immense talent in India raging from Shyam Bengal(the sutradhra), AR Rehman(CWG Anthem), Hariharan(Swagatam), impressive dancers with cross culture dance styles, drummers, sand artists and Yoga practitioners. World would always remember, the bangle shops, kullarh wali chai, the dabba wala, mithai wala with big jalebi’s and long forgotten sugarcane juice extractors.
Delhi prepared well to host our special guests with its world class Games village, widened & cleaned up roads and parks, rejuvenated CP, CWG lane with Rs 2000 fine, special coach for women in metro, hop in hop off buses, hoardings of Shera and last but not the least, world class stadiums which were all light up as if they were decorated for Diwali. Special folk dance performances, mushayar, crafts bazaar and trips to one of the 7 wonders of the world Taj Mahal.
Delhites poured at the stadiums in huge numbers to support the games, volunteers spent endless days working in shifts to support the efforts of athletes and guests. Doordarshan which had become mostly extinct by hoards of news and entertainment channels, once again emerged as the channel with highest TRP as every eye was glued to the games. We appreciated the High Definition transmission, professional commentary and relay of the award ceremonies. Special advertisement on railways (Rail Gaadi), games we used to play(ankh micholi, pithu, kabbadi), tourism ads on Gujarat, kerala etc which struck a chord with many became a big hit.
Many of us visited some of the games, painted our faces with flags especially for India vs Pakistan Hockey match and waved Indian flag at the games. Hooted slogans for Indian players, prayed on the last day for 2 Gold medals for India to finish 2nd. 38 gold and great performance of some our women athletes who have made a new mark in these games.
All played, worked and contributed together for a common purpose, Common Wealth games where SPORTS became the only religion of Delhi.
For those 11 days, every Delhite felt proud of participating in some way in the gala CWG event and all related to a beautiful song written by Palash Sen for Delhi….
Mera Ghar, Mera Pata, Meri Shaan…..Delhi hai Meri Jaan..!!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Next Generation Mobile Love!!
Dedicated to all my friends in love and me on call waiting.
Technology has redefined many aspects of our life – From hand-washing to Washing machines, Dish washing to dishwashers, cooked to micro-waved food and a little device in our hand called Mobile from Pigeon mails & love letters.
I reflect back to a hit movie of our times (don’t think am very old), which had shown a white pigeon as a symbol of love where it did a free job of exchanging messages. It was also recognized as an indicator to the heroin that her hero is thinking about her. So was the irony of love a few years ago. We still had phone then, but the calling rates were quite high, so most of the people stuck to letters. I still remember the trend of pen friends, where two unknown people became friends by sending letters, which eventually made some meet the love of their life.
I often gather around my aunts to hear their stories of marriage and back to when they got engaged. Love was a forbidden word in their times and most of them had arranged marriages. (which actually has now become a forbidden word to many). One aunt told me, after their engagement uncle gave a call at her office and her boss called her to attend the phone. Yes they just had a phone next to her boss’s seat. (Love to imagine you attending a phone in your Reporting manager’s cabin ). Her face got pale with panic and her hands trembled while saying the first hello. Her boss was thoroughly concerned and doubting that everything was fine and even checked with a colleague who told her she is engaged and then Boss had a sigh of relief!!. Such was the beauty of love and relationships in those times, where people longed to talk, wrote letters to express their feelings and waited for ages to meet.
Zooming back from those days to these, pen friends have been replaced with cryptic key board friends who use the QWERTY/NON QWERTY key boards to quickly type the lovey dovey messages or forward messages. Postal departments around the world have moved away their business model from selling stamps and handling letters to Saving Schemes. And bosses don’t dare to peak into a phone which is received even while in a meeting.
Love of your life is always online through SMS, emails and messengers in phone. Love birds have ample time to discuss what they have eaten, what they are wearing and what they felt when a colleague mocked at her hair today. While 24x7 news channels still stick to the top stories, our love birds discuss the minutest details of every minute which they have spent without them. Mobile has become as precious a commodity as food to survive. I have seen people who don’t panic if their wallets are snatched but are more concerned if their phone is left at home.
For many the definition of love goes wrong if he/she didn’t pick up the call when he/she was busy with work. For some, love is more about a status check on their partners to make sure he/she is not with some one else. Facebook/orkut profiles of partners are actively monitored for new messages/scraps and status updates.
Love earlier was a thing to preserve which now seems to become a necessity to maintain a comparative mobile bill between friends and compare “Mera BF tere BF se smart kaise”. People earlier used to discover each other when they started living together, unfolding the secrets of other persons nature one at a time, always amazed with his/her reaction on a romantic journey together, his/her reaction when either got hurt etc. But today, even in arranged marriages, I see people talking from the minute they get engaged to the marriage day. Expectations are already set about each other and they know so much about each other already, that nothing much is there to explore further(especially for long dating couples).
I often wonder, has this constant communication lead to a increasing rate of divorces in the world, the number of breakups in early relationships, the number of heart breaks, suicides and of course emergence of new mobile service providers.
Is love more about calling many times a day to check what we are doing/feeling or is love still a feeling which makes you smile when you think of that someone special!!
Technology has redefined many aspects of our life – From hand-washing to Washing machines, Dish washing to dishwashers, cooked to micro-waved food and a little device in our hand called Mobile from Pigeon mails & love letters.
I reflect back to a hit movie of our times (don’t think am very old), which had shown a white pigeon as a symbol of love where it did a free job of exchanging messages. It was also recognized as an indicator to the heroin that her hero is thinking about her. So was the irony of love a few years ago. We still had phone then, but the calling rates were quite high, so most of the people stuck to letters. I still remember the trend of pen friends, where two unknown people became friends by sending letters, which eventually made some meet the love of their life.
I often gather around my aunts to hear their stories of marriage and back to when they got engaged. Love was a forbidden word in their times and most of them had arranged marriages. (which actually has now become a forbidden word to many). One aunt told me, after their engagement uncle gave a call at her office and her boss called her to attend the phone. Yes they just had a phone next to her boss’s seat. (Love to imagine you attending a phone in your Reporting manager’s cabin ). Her face got pale with panic and her hands trembled while saying the first hello. Her boss was thoroughly concerned and doubting that everything was fine and even checked with a colleague who told her she is engaged and then Boss had a sigh of relief!!. Such was the beauty of love and relationships in those times, where people longed to talk, wrote letters to express their feelings and waited for ages to meet.
Zooming back from those days to these, pen friends have been replaced with cryptic key board friends who use the QWERTY/NON QWERTY key boards to quickly type the lovey dovey messages or forward messages. Postal departments around the world have moved away their business model from selling stamps and handling letters to Saving Schemes. And bosses don’t dare to peak into a phone which is received even while in a meeting.
Love of your life is always online through SMS, emails and messengers in phone. Love birds have ample time to discuss what they have eaten, what they are wearing and what they felt when a colleague mocked at her hair today. While 24x7 news channels still stick to the top stories, our love birds discuss the minutest details of every minute which they have spent without them. Mobile has become as precious a commodity as food to survive. I have seen people who don’t panic if their wallets are snatched but are more concerned if their phone is left at home.
For many the definition of love goes wrong if he/she didn’t pick up the call when he/she was busy with work. For some, love is more about a status check on their partners to make sure he/she is not with some one else. Facebook/orkut profiles of partners are actively monitored for new messages/scraps and status updates.
Love earlier was a thing to preserve which now seems to become a necessity to maintain a comparative mobile bill between friends and compare “Mera BF tere BF se smart kaise”. People earlier used to discover each other when they started living together, unfolding the secrets of other persons nature one at a time, always amazed with his/her reaction on a romantic journey together, his/her reaction when either got hurt etc. But today, even in arranged marriages, I see people talking from the minute they get engaged to the marriage day. Expectations are already set about each other and they know so much about each other already, that nothing much is there to explore further(especially for long dating couples).
I often wonder, has this constant communication lead to a increasing rate of divorces in the world, the number of breakups in early relationships, the number of heart breaks, suicides and of course emergence of new mobile service providers.
Is love more about calling many times a day to check what we are doing/feeling or is love still a feeling which makes you smile when you think of that someone special!!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Abodana Dhudhtey Hain!!
Driving down on NH24, a four lane highway connecting Delhi to Ghaziabad now, I could only view hoardings on either side of road displaying advertisements of upcoming construction of homes in Ghaziabad and Noida area.
An area which was prohibited to stay for quite some years, has become quite a hot property today. Tall sky scrapers coming closer reminded me of the downtown view of Chicago(minus the cows and CNG autos), which I admired on my first visit to US. I was amazed to drive on the smooth highway and thinking how easy it is to commute to such far flung place now.
Every building, every home seemed to be occupied with smiling faces peeping from the balconies enjoying the beautiful weather. A dream bubble emerged in my head, with a scenario where am decorating my room with my most adored collection of art, arranging my cupboard and my favorite ghazal playing in background "Tere aane ki jab khabar mehke, teri khushbu se sara ghar mehke".
Woosh..just missed hitting an auto..Remember I was driving.
A home registered in my name, with my savings has been a yearning dream in my heart since I saw my parent's smiles when they bought our home around 20 years back. A home, for which I keep noting ideas of decoration, of furniture arrangements, latest wall paint options, those little things which I will buy, even the jingle of door bell and yes a name plate inscribed "Supi's World" on it.
After stabilizing in my career a few years ago(with some sufficient funds), I started my search for my dream home. From Rohini, Sarita vihar, Indrapuram, Faridabad and now Noida my search has been endless. I had very interesting experiences for each locality which I sometimes look back and smile at.
Sarita Vihar: I was led by my uncle, into a meeting with a property dealer, who gave an amazed look, when he was told that "I" was the one who was looking for a house. He couldn't believe it to be true and even said kids grow up very early now a days :-). (Some praise, I was very young then!!)
Rohini: I went to meet a property dealer on a rickshaw not realizing that he felt am a broke and if I cannot afford a car, how I will be able to buy a home.
Indrapuram: From apartments at 14th floor to builder floors, the options have been endless. Buildings in construction reflected upon me the famous song "Do diwane shere mein, raat mein or dopahar mein.." where the hero/heroin walk around buildings under development. Relatively, I also had a friend then with me, whom I had pushed to look for a house. Paid around 10 visits, selected a house and finally the deal didn’t materialize just for a lac of rupees. But positive side, was my friend bought a house which his parents really wanted him to buy. I visited them today, I could see signs of joy & relief on his parent’s faces and yes the name plate on the door “in his name”.
Faridabad: An under construction area(rather than buildings) marked a major challenge there, where my first visit changed the color of my car from Azure Grey to light brown with all the dust. No roads, no lights but a future ahead being sold with a view of metro and upcoming FNG highway. It was convincing enough to buy and I did try it out, but unfortunately led to a loss as stupid company faltered. Arrrgh!!
Noida: From sky scrappers touching 35 stories to studios, from triplex homes to penthouse, the prices of all opportunities are shooting high up every day. But still am trying my options (fingers crossed) with a depressing fear on history repeating itself and my mind filled with doubts on the future of homes here.
There is a saying "The more you run after something, the farther it runs from you" seems to be true as my search continues. Rates souring higher with lesser availability are some where shattering my hopes of my dream home. Supply and demand curves which I loved in graduation are coming true in my life and I am still waiting to reach equilibrium.
My logical mind often wonders, what it takes to be get a right choice at a right time but then my spiritual mind knocks and suggests, “it will happen when its supposed to happen”, but till then..
......Abodana Dhundhtey Hain, Ashiana dundhtey hain!!!
An area which was prohibited to stay for quite some years, has become quite a hot property today. Tall sky scrapers coming closer reminded me of the downtown view of Chicago(minus the cows and CNG autos), which I admired on my first visit to US. I was amazed to drive on the smooth highway and thinking how easy it is to commute to such far flung place now.
Every building, every home seemed to be occupied with smiling faces peeping from the balconies enjoying the beautiful weather. A dream bubble emerged in my head, with a scenario where am decorating my room with my most adored collection of art, arranging my cupboard and my favorite ghazal playing in background "Tere aane ki jab khabar mehke, teri khushbu se sara ghar mehke".
Woosh..just missed hitting an auto..Remember I was driving.
A home registered in my name, with my savings has been a yearning dream in my heart since I saw my parent's smiles when they bought our home around 20 years back. A home, for which I keep noting ideas of decoration, of furniture arrangements, latest wall paint options, those little things which I will buy, even the jingle of door bell and yes a name plate inscribed "Supi's World" on it.
After stabilizing in my career a few years ago(with some sufficient funds), I started my search for my dream home. From Rohini, Sarita vihar, Indrapuram, Faridabad and now Noida my search has been endless. I had very interesting experiences for each locality which I sometimes look back and smile at.
Sarita Vihar: I was led by my uncle, into a meeting with a property dealer, who gave an amazed look, when he was told that "I" was the one who was looking for a house. He couldn't believe it to be true and even said kids grow up very early now a days :-). (Some praise, I was very young then!!)
Rohini: I went to meet a property dealer on a rickshaw not realizing that he felt am a broke and if I cannot afford a car, how I will be able to buy a home.
Indrapuram: From apartments at 14th floor to builder floors, the options have been endless. Buildings in construction reflected upon me the famous song "Do diwane shere mein, raat mein or dopahar mein.." where the hero/heroin walk around buildings under development. Relatively, I also had a friend then with me, whom I had pushed to look for a house. Paid around 10 visits, selected a house and finally the deal didn’t materialize just for a lac of rupees. But positive side, was my friend bought a house which his parents really wanted him to buy. I visited them today, I could see signs of joy & relief on his parent’s faces and yes the name plate on the door “in his name”.
Faridabad: An under construction area(rather than buildings) marked a major challenge there, where my first visit changed the color of my car from Azure Grey to light brown with all the dust. No roads, no lights but a future ahead being sold with a view of metro and upcoming FNG highway. It was convincing enough to buy and I did try it out, but unfortunately led to a loss as stupid company faltered. Arrrgh!!
Noida: From sky scrappers touching 35 stories to studios, from triplex homes to penthouse, the prices of all opportunities are shooting high up every day. But still am trying my options (fingers crossed) with a depressing fear on history repeating itself and my mind filled with doubts on the future of homes here.
There is a saying "The more you run after something, the farther it runs from you" seems to be true as my search continues. Rates souring higher with lesser availability are some where shattering my hopes of my dream home. Supply and demand curves which I loved in graduation are coming true in my life and I am still waiting to reach equilibrium.
My logical mind often wonders, what it takes to be get a right choice at a right time but then my spiritual mind knocks and suggests, “it will happen when its supposed to happen”, but till then..
......Abodana Dhundhtey Hain, Ashiana dundhtey hain!!!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Loneliness defined!!
In the midst of cries and mourning, I looked at the face of my mother and I still recall the blankness. It was 13th March 1994, a darkest day of my life. A couple whom I have seen full of love, commitment and sacrifice in the hardest of times was ripped apart by a mighty decision of God.
Chirping in the corners, jokes by the dinner side and smiles on the faces had all died and was filled with empty spaces and silent walls. We realized the value of togetherness when we looked at families around us smile, their laughter and smiles reminded us of the old times.
That is how our loneliness was defined!!
I realized loneliness as a feeling which makes us run towards relationships. We wish to be around friends to pass our weekends, we indulge in habits to kill away our time and our parents wish us to get married so that we are not left alone in life.
I often wonder why “loneliness” is such a taboo when we were all born as individuals and didn’t bring anyone along. We do become a part of some family but we never take them along when we die. What we take along is our own good/bad deeds which we have done in our lifetime.
When I see around, I see relationships break because one of them feels left alone, I have seen friendships break when people don’t give each other time and I have seen people break when they are left alone by circumstances. The fear of loneliness has unlimited consequences and has lead people to succumb to habits like drugs, addictions, bad habits and many a times suicides. But what remains after them for their families is yet the same thing, loneliness.
In the world of breakups, divorces, neglects and broken relationships caused due to loneliness do we realize the value of togetherness, the bond which god has created especially for us to make sure we are not left alone in this world. Our parents, our friends and our partners are the ones, which god has especially sent for us when he himself couldn’t give much of his attention to all.
On the contrary we often seek loneliness when we are pressurized for time. “Please leave me alone” is a sentence often spoken when we want to concentrate or are going through a sad state. Why do we need time with ourselves then, because we are individuals and we do have our own space which we often don’t cherish.
I have realized over the years that loneliness is a boon in itself and we have so many options to make the most of it. Some options are:
• Nurture our habits, past dreams and learn things which are creative.
• Help others who have been left alone by fate
• Submerge ourselves in the sake of god who has given us this beautiful life
• Spend time with children, who are a gift of god to us to relive our childhood
We never know, if our breath will flow the next second in time. So unpredictable is life and I feel we should make the most of this life and try our best to leave only smiles behind.
Har Pal yahan jee bhar jiyo, kal yeh saman fir ho na ho!!
This blog is dedicated to my mother, my pillar of strength.
Chirping in the corners, jokes by the dinner side and smiles on the faces had all died and was filled with empty spaces and silent walls. We realized the value of togetherness when we looked at families around us smile, their laughter and smiles reminded us of the old times.
That is how our loneliness was defined!!
I realized loneliness as a feeling which makes us run towards relationships. We wish to be around friends to pass our weekends, we indulge in habits to kill away our time and our parents wish us to get married so that we are not left alone in life.
I often wonder why “loneliness” is such a taboo when we were all born as individuals and didn’t bring anyone along. We do become a part of some family but we never take them along when we die. What we take along is our own good/bad deeds which we have done in our lifetime.
When I see around, I see relationships break because one of them feels left alone, I have seen friendships break when people don’t give each other time and I have seen people break when they are left alone by circumstances. The fear of loneliness has unlimited consequences and has lead people to succumb to habits like drugs, addictions, bad habits and many a times suicides. But what remains after them for their families is yet the same thing, loneliness.
In the world of breakups, divorces, neglects and broken relationships caused due to loneliness do we realize the value of togetherness, the bond which god has created especially for us to make sure we are not left alone in this world. Our parents, our friends and our partners are the ones, which god has especially sent for us when he himself couldn’t give much of his attention to all.
On the contrary we often seek loneliness when we are pressurized for time. “Please leave me alone” is a sentence often spoken when we want to concentrate or are going through a sad state. Why do we need time with ourselves then, because we are individuals and we do have our own space which we often don’t cherish.
I have realized over the years that loneliness is a boon in itself and we have so many options to make the most of it. Some options are:
• Nurture our habits, past dreams and learn things which are creative.
• Help others who have been left alone by fate
• Submerge ourselves in the sake of god who has given us this beautiful life
• Spend time with children, who are a gift of god to us to relive our childhood
We never know, if our breath will flow the next second in time. So unpredictable is life and I feel we should make the most of this life and try our best to leave only smiles behind.
Har Pal yahan jee bhar jiyo, kal yeh saman fir ho na ho!!
This blog is dedicated to my mother, my pillar of strength.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Meeting Her - A little Angel !!
Alarm went off at 4.30 AM, while I was already awake looking out of the window of my room at Holiday Inn Maidenhead, where am stationed since last one week. Was it eagerness to see her or the chirping of the birds which woke me up, I was not sure. I had to board a train in an hour’s time to Birmingham to meet her, my little niece Arlene.
On my last visit a few months back, she was too young to lay her eyes on me, but her recent pictures had made me feel that she might recognize me this time. Having devoted myself in work for quite a few years, I had merely forgot the emotional touch of meeting someone as close in the family.
I started to walk towards the station with a heavy bag, thanks to the official dell laptop, but no pain was felt on the shoulder, as her recent pictures floated in front of my eyes, as if she was waiting for me to arrive. Of the few things I adore about UK is the punctuality and timeliness which is followed in every aspect including travel, but unfortunately today my scheduled train was cancelled and I was standing at Reading station waiting for the next train arriving in about 30 minutes. A delay, which was sad, but I couldn’t defy.
My brother received me at the station and here I was looking at her, she greeted me with a bright and fresh smile. She held my finger as I moved my hand towards her’s and she started gurgling in her musical voice. I felt as if she was telling me all the little stories of days she spent here and telling me how much she wished we could meet. I felt she asked me about everyone back in India including her Dadi and confirmed that she would come to meet all of us soon.
When she was born, my neighborhood aunt had said that she has the same surname as mine and thus she would be more dearest to me than to my mother and yes today I could feel the love and affection for her, which was lost long back within me somewhere unknown. I sat around her most of the time, she often interacted with me with her eyes and gurgling a complaint that I didn’t bring her any gift. I went to high street to quickly pick up a few dresses for her and she wore them with a radiant awe in her eyes. She often held the frock as to show to my brother and bhabhi that I have brought it for her. How kiddish I felt, but it brought a peculiar feeling of happiness of the little gift I had bought for her.
Such innocence is what children bring to our harsh lives. They themselves bring out the feelings of love, tenderness and affection for them and we become just like them for sometime.
I often wonder how strange is our existence and life? How we are born in the womb of our mother as a seed, grow up in the hands of strange people who become our family and are submerged in earth or water after we die and leave only memories for others who survive. The soul remains alive and it becomes a part of some other family and lives on the next life.
2 eventful days passed around her, where I heard her voice, saw her smile, captured her in pictures and looked awfully when she cried and here I was standing next to her with a heavy heart to say bye. She again held my finger as if she disapproved of my release from her love and attention. But somehow I managed to steal myself from her eyes which were still looking for me when I left the house.
Back in train, while listening to songs on mobile, her recorded voice just somehow came in the play list and I could do nothing but just smile!!
I too will miss you Little Ms Dhingra and would be eager to meet you again, but we both have to wait for a while!!
Written at 2 AM on 11th May 2010, I owe this blog to her and I couldn’t sleep without completing it tonight.
On my last visit a few months back, she was too young to lay her eyes on me, but her recent pictures had made me feel that she might recognize me this time. Having devoted myself in work for quite a few years, I had merely forgot the emotional touch of meeting someone as close in the family.
I started to walk towards the station with a heavy bag, thanks to the official dell laptop, but no pain was felt on the shoulder, as her recent pictures floated in front of my eyes, as if she was waiting for me to arrive. Of the few things I adore about UK is the punctuality and timeliness which is followed in every aspect including travel, but unfortunately today my scheduled train was cancelled and I was standing at Reading station waiting for the next train arriving in about 30 minutes. A delay, which was sad, but I couldn’t defy.
My brother received me at the station and here I was looking at her, she greeted me with a bright and fresh smile. She held my finger as I moved my hand towards her’s and she started gurgling in her musical voice. I felt as if she was telling me all the little stories of days she spent here and telling me how much she wished we could meet. I felt she asked me about everyone back in India including her Dadi and confirmed that she would come to meet all of us soon.
When she was born, my neighborhood aunt had said that she has the same surname as mine and thus she would be more dearest to me than to my mother and yes today I could feel the love and affection for her, which was lost long back within me somewhere unknown. I sat around her most of the time, she often interacted with me with her eyes and gurgling a complaint that I didn’t bring her any gift. I went to high street to quickly pick up a few dresses for her and she wore them with a radiant awe in her eyes. She often held the frock as to show to my brother and bhabhi that I have brought it for her. How kiddish I felt, but it brought a peculiar feeling of happiness of the little gift I had bought for her.
Such innocence is what children bring to our harsh lives. They themselves bring out the feelings of love, tenderness and affection for them and we become just like them for sometime.
I often wonder how strange is our existence and life? How we are born in the womb of our mother as a seed, grow up in the hands of strange people who become our family and are submerged in earth or water after we die and leave only memories for others who survive. The soul remains alive and it becomes a part of some other family and lives on the next life.
2 eventful days passed around her, where I heard her voice, saw her smile, captured her in pictures and looked awfully when she cried and here I was standing next to her with a heavy heart to say bye. She again held my finger as if she disapproved of my release from her love and attention. But somehow I managed to steal myself from her eyes which were still looking for me when I left the house.
Back in train, while listening to songs on mobile, her recorded voice just somehow came in the play list and I could do nothing but just smile!!
I too will miss you Little Ms Dhingra and would be eager to meet you again, but we both have to wait for a while!!
Written at 2 AM on 11th May 2010, I owe this blog to her and I couldn’t sleep without completing it tonight.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Aur Karvan banta gaya!!
To the endless fun which the new members have brought for us @ Route 2M.
Refering back to the GSP syndrom which has come back in the bus, after the great days of fun, I see the smiles have come back again. Earlier blog for reference :-)
http://wordless-soul.blogspot.com/2009/09/route-no2m-dumb-bond.html
It is so true of life that we live everyday and each day is like a page in a book which gets registered in our memory. We cannot live back old moments of fun and happiness but life has something new at every step for us.
Old episodes of fun and laughter were registered in my mind, when I again started sitting silent in bus. A friend is recently married and adjusting to a new life, a friend has moved on from the organisation and another friend has left the bus.
But there are a few of us left, who were a part of the gang, but feel the lull after those who were "heart of mehfil".
With increased responsibilities, lot of meetings, travel and work, I lost the touch with the gang. Today, I didnt have a meeting so just asked the gang to start again, our favorite game dumb Charades.
Invariably, the game picked up its momentum and the new joinee's in the bus joined the flow. The younger & the faster generation than us, were amazed to see the art in us, the oldies like me and I was fasinated by their enthusisam. They have brought a new angle and twist to game, with their wild imagination. But they do have less patience in enacting a movie, which becomes hard on them.
Some new exceptional skills which am proud to name:
Bad man ki lalten: He has the worst acts and always on the negative side.
innocent confusion: Thrououghly confused on the approach to express
Karo Ya Maro: Always follows do or die attitude.
While we smile together, laugh at the nuisances, share the good times together, I realise the truth of life. We come alone in this world and then are joined by people at every step in life who play a great part in our lives and these two lines summarise the thoughts within me today...
"Main akela hi chala tha janibe manzil, magar log sath aate gaye aur karvan banta gaya"
Refering back to the GSP syndrom which has come back in the bus, after the great days of fun, I see the smiles have come back again. Earlier blog for reference :-)
http://wordless-soul.blogspot.com/2009/09/route-no2m-dumb-bond.html
It is so true of life that we live everyday and each day is like a page in a book which gets registered in our memory. We cannot live back old moments of fun and happiness but life has something new at every step for us.
Old episodes of fun and laughter were registered in my mind, when I again started sitting silent in bus. A friend is recently married and adjusting to a new life, a friend has moved on from the organisation and another friend has left the bus.
But there are a few of us left, who were a part of the gang, but feel the lull after those who were "heart of mehfil".
With increased responsibilities, lot of meetings, travel and work, I lost the touch with the gang. Today, I didnt have a meeting so just asked the gang to start again, our favorite game dumb Charades.
Invariably, the game picked up its momentum and the new joinee's in the bus joined the flow. The younger & the faster generation than us, were amazed to see the art in us, the oldies like me and I was fasinated by their enthusisam. They have brought a new angle and twist to game, with their wild imagination. But they do have less patience in enacting a movie, which becomes hard on them.
Some new exceptional skills which am proud to name:
Bad man ki lalten: He has the worst acts and always on the negative side.
innocent confusion: Thrououghly confused on the approach to express
Karo Ya Maro: Always follows do or die attitude.
While we smile together, laugh at the nuisances, share the good times together, I realise the truth of life. We come alone in this world and then are joined by people at every step in life who play a great part in our lives and these two lines summarise the thoughts within me today...
"Main akela hi chala tha janibe manzil, magar log sath aate gaye aur karvan banta gaya"
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