Do you have Vitamin Deficiency!!!

I have recently learnt a concept of progressive elaboration, so am attempting to write this blog in progression as I complete the book “How to Get what you want and want what you have” by John Gray (Famous writer of Men are from Mars and Women from Venus).

It has this interesting concept of life requiring a set of vitamins in our 10 love tanks. It is elaborated that while we live, we have need to have all our 10 love tanks filled to be satisfied. Following are the vitamins, their description and age timelines.

Vitamin G1 - Love and support from God - Conception to birth
Vitamin P1 – Love and Support from our parents - Birth to 7
Vitamin F - Love and Support Family, Friends and having fun - 7 to 14
Vitamin P2 - Love and Support Peers and others like us with similar goals - 14 to 21
Vitamin S - Love and support from ourselves - 21 to 28
Vitamin R - Love and Support Relationships, Partnerships and romance - 28 to 35
Vitamin D - Love and support from some one who is dependent on us - 35 to 40
Vitamin C - Giving back to our communities - 41 to 49
Vitamin W - Giving back to the world - 49 to 56
Vitamin G2 - Serving god - 56 and Beyond

John suggests that we often have a deficiency of a particular vitamin, due to which one of our love tanks is not filled and we feel dissatisfied. An interesting statistics he has highlighted is, a higher percentage of divorces happening around 28 for those who got married in their Self Love age (21 to 28). They feel the deficiency of not having lived their life and blame the partner for what they are missing within themselves.

Hey don’t push your marriages till 28 reading this, but might be you would be able to appreciate the family life when you have loved yourself or are well connected with yourself!!!

As I further read the book, I understood for most difficulties in life the solution starts with making sure we are filling the first five love tanks. By taking sometime out of our week to fill our past love tanks, we are able to move forward to create the life we want. If you have flowers in your garden, it is not enough to water then once, we need to regularly attend to them and keep nurturing them. Following description provides the symptom for identifying your unfilled tank, remedy to fill the tank and suggests a mode to achieve the same.

Vitamin G1: Love and support from God

Symptoms: Life tends to be a struggle; we become stressed and tired thinking that we have to do it ourselves.

Remedy: Connect with god to realize we are not alone and there is a higher power assisting us.

Mode: Meditation.

Vitamin P1: Love and support from parents

Symptoms: We tend to be held back in by feelings of doubt, inadequacy and unworthiness, waves of emotional disturbance and distress in our lives.

Remedy: Need to get someone to listen to you, understand you and give you unconditional love. As this tank begins to fill you become more supportive to you yourself.

Mode: Therapists or counselors or friends act as hired parents and some healing exercises

Vitamin F: Love and support from family, friends and fun

Symptoms: Life is too serious and you are not having fun. It feels your primary relationship suffers from criticism, blame or boredom.

Remedy: Need to nurture our old friendships and create new ones. Old friends help us love and accept ourselves the way we are and new friends bring out new parts of what we are. Humour, funny movies and having fun is additional ways of filling this tank.

Mode: If you don’t have many friends, start doing things for others. By first giving and then receiving in return you gradually begin to like each other and become friends.

Vitamin P2: Peer support

Symptoms: Loneliness, too confined to the family

Remedy: You should nurture your interests separate from your partner and join some group activities. It helps awaken the teenager in you and you will have surges of enthusiasm, vitality and energy to move ahead in life.

Mode: Attend a game of your favorite sports team in a stadium, movies in cinemas, theatres, religious activities, concerts of favorite singers.

Vitamin S: Self Love

Symptoms: Much of the time we hold ourselves back because we are concerned about what others will think of us. We want to do things, but we don’t because if we make mistake we would reminded of it forever.

Remedy: To love yourself give yourself permission to experiment in life. Get away from people in your everyday life, so that you are free to try on new outfits and behave differently. Give yourself the freedom, to do things you have never done before and go somewhere you would never go again.

Mode: Take a few minutes everyday to reflect on what you want and then set your intentions by putting in your order.

Vitamin R: Relationships, partnerships and romance

Symptoms: You are not able to decide on a partner or likewise in a relationship, after a while love stops flowing.

Remedy: In either case, it means your other love tanks are not filled. If you are not getting the right partner, you are looking in the wrong direction. Just start dating and don’t look for the perfect person. When a student is ready a teacher is always there. Similarly, when you are ready for a relationship and you are open to dating, the perfect person shows up. Soul mates are never perfect, but they are perfect for you as a partner.

Mode: Learn relationship skills.

Vitamin D: Unconditional love to someone who is depending on you.

Symptoms: Without children, unknowingly sabotage a relationship or the possibility of a new relation by over nurturing and treating a partner like a child.

Remedy: Being responsible for the needs of others is a essential requirement of the soul. By feeling responsible and giving your love unconditionally your soul will be strengthened.

Mode: Take care of children, grandchildren, pets and gardens. It means taking care of anything alive.

Vitamin C: Giving back to the community, assisting in making world a better place.

Symptoms: Unable to expand your spirit

Remedy: thinking about helping others. The gifts we have received from life are the gifts we have to share with our community. This kind of giving can be so gratifying that we forget the other people we love, so be careful and not neglect your family in the process.

Mode: volunteer work to help others not directly related to you.

Vitamin W: Giving back to the world

Symptoms: Many people start feeling old because they are not expanding and thus not growing.

Remedy: By connecting and sharing yourself with other cultures, you will discover that although people are different but we are all the same inside. Seeing the world will bring out new parts of who you are and will keep you young.

Mode: Get involved in some kind of world cause like travel, see the world and share your light.

Vitamin G2: Serving god.

Symptoms: Many people immediately age and get sick at this time, because their other tanks are too empty to fulfill this new requirement to give selflessly in service.

Remedy: This is time when we reach our full glory. Now we can be in touch with our greatest powers and gifts. By now all your love tanks have been filled and your greatest joy is in serving. As you enjoy this state, you feel more and more that you are one with everything and everyone. You become a pure channel of God’s grace to all you meet.

Mode: Serve and connect with God.

It is interesting theory though and would encourage you to just think - Are your love tanks filled? “do you love yourself?” and “have you been content with your family”, “are you happy with your career” or are you facing any such symptoms. If yes, then would encourage you to apply the remedies as suggested.

The book has a lot more details on Meditation methodologies, how to understand your desire etc and would suggest all of us should atleast read it once to know ourselves more.

Happy reading!!!!